Do you have a test clip? Sounds awesome.
It’s not like Rey going to Ahch-To doesn’t make sense in the original, but you could make the argument that nearly killing Kylo Ren isn’t really on the top of the list for reasons why she thinks she’s doomed for the dark side. Even despite the fact that Leia was trying to save him at the same moment. She does the same in TFA without any remorse.
Nearly killing somebody she’s actually friends with for a second time, though? Talk about compelling. Doing what she did to Kylo can still serve as the straw that broke the camel’s back, but it really shouldn’t be THE defining reason she gives up on everything.
EDIT: Also, are you planning on changing Rey’s off-screen dialogue on Ahch-To from “I saw myself on the dark throne. I won’t let it happen” to something like “I killed Leia. I won’t let myself take the throne, next. I’m doing what you did.”
Heck, I’m willing to help you fine tune the whole Leia heals Ben thing because I think your ideas around the Death Star duel have a lot of potential. I’d just slot all that stuff into Ascendant myself if Hal doesn’t want it officially. I’d recommend generating different lines than what you currently have for Leia, though.
I’d start off by removing “Never be afraid of who you are. Ben.” because it kinda ruins the moment. As for the rest of the lines, I’ll need to think more about what to experiment with.